Many years ago, my husband and I visited my Dad in Washington state.

(I was born in Washington; some of my best memories are from that magical, emerald place. We left when my parents divorced and my mom moved us back to her home state of New Mexico. New Mexico is home, but part of my heart will always live in Washington.)

We were shopping at a local artist co-op when I saw it:

A small, old-fashioned bird cage balanced on a gracefully curved stand, made entirely of copper wire.

Inside is a small, stick figure-style person, gripping the bars and peering out.

Directly across from the figure, facing its back, the door is wide open.

If the person just turned around and looked at things from a different perspective, she would see that she’s not actually trapped, she’s been free to do as she wishes all along…

I saw myself trapped in the cage at times in my life and I saw myself turning around and escaping the cage at other times. I resonated completely with this simple, yet complex, sculpture.

It has no signature and didn’t come with a card, so I can’t credit the artist who created it. To me, it captures the essence of living and growing as a human, and of the work I try to do for myself and with my clients every day.

At that time in my life, I was about to enter what I think of as the “7 Years of Cages”, but I didn’t know it then. I was about to find myself in cages of my marriage, parenting, anxiety, depression, and more, all at about the same time. Some days it seemed like the cages were a maze with no way out and I felt heavy, dark dread in my stomach that they might all fall and crush me to death. If you’ve ever found yourself there, or you’re there now, I feel you and I get it.

We’ve all found ourselves in cages during our lives; places where we felt trapped, stuck, or halted in our movement or growth for some reason. Some of them are pretty obvious, like ”My marriage is falling apart”, others are more subtle, such as “I’m not worthy”.

To escape our cages, we have to first consider that there could be other truths than the one we’ve been living; then, we must be willing to look at things differently and explore other possibilities. It’s always a risk. We might get free or find ourselves in an even tighter cage. I’ve got into a lot of tighter cages before I found a way out sometimes. Some, I’m still working my way out of. More about that next week.

Getting out takes courage, energy, and time, and we don’t always have the resources we need to get it done by ourselves. It would be great if we were only faced with cages when things were going well for us, but the cages often remain invisible or less obtrusive until things are bad in our lives and we have no choice but to face them or forcibly deny them.

I bought the sculpture immediately and have treasured it ever since. It occupies a place of pride in my office, next to my colorful crystal garden, and close to the seating area where I work with my in-person clients.

Even though I’ve had this reminder for years and see it most days, sometimes I still have to remind myself of its message. That’s just human nature, I think. I’m better at seeing the cages and getting out, but it’s not something you do once and it’s finished forever. It’s a lifetime practice carried by hope and belief and well worth our time to hone.

I point it out to my clients and have them imagine themselves in the cage and understand its lesson, too. I try to help them see and gain the skills they need to escape from their cages, too when they find themselves in one.

The sculpture is a simple representation and shows clear ways to get out. Sometimes the cages in our lives don’t have such obvious solutions and we need extra help to escape them.

During my life, I’ve found myself in many kinds of cages, the painfully obvious, sneakily subtle, and those that were somewhere in between. With some, I could see how to get out of them, some I had no clue how to visualize it, but I could feel it, and needed help from others to get myself free.

Have you ever found yourself in a cage? When? How or why did you get there (sometimes the entry story has clues about how to get out)? Did you get out and if so, how did you get out? Are you still there?